Buckle Up this could be a long one!
Well I guess it had to happen sometime. A really bad day! I’m going to share it with you because sometimes you have to take the bad with the good. I know some of you out there probably are going through tough times too. So it’s good to share them with each other for sort of some support.
The question is where to start. Well someone has, I feel, wronged me. Happens all the time, but most of the time I can smile and give it up. Not today. I lost my temper and left a bad message. Yep I even used a few cuss words. Now I regret the words I used. It is ok to express anger, but not ok to hurt someone. If I am to be a follower of Christ I should not have behaved the way I did. No excuse at all. Now this person had some reason to do what they did, but I guess the way they chose to do it was, I guess, bad timing. So now what? It is going to hurt these next few days financially and it will spill over to our family. I guess it all comes down to we reap what we sow. I am now feeling those pains now. I know things will get better, but it still hurts. I guess I’m just dissappointed in myself for my reactions.
So what have I learned? Well one I must make the call and apologize. WOW that hurts. I must ask for forgiveness from the big guy in the sky. Ouch again. Even though this person has hurt me, I should probably forgive them. Ouch again. The tongue can be a terrible thing. Anger is one thing but words said can’t be taken back easily. So what, I’m human and make mistakes might be what you are thinking, but I guess I feel it’s bigger than that.
I look around and if I’m going to be the person God has called me to be it hurts to fall down. I guess it’s like when you were a kid and all you wanted to do is hear your dad say you did a great job. When you messed up and dissapointed him it felt horrible. You know that your dad still loves you, but you wished you didn’t let him down. You get that pit in your stomach. I know it will be ok, but you still feel the pain.
Todd you are rambling. I know. My wife tells me all the time. LOL I try and be transparent and share me struggles too. Maybe it might help one of you out as well.
I talk about dreams a lot. This is where the rubber meets the road. You see right now financially things are tight. Painting business is always tough in Dec. Jan, and Feb. THIS is when if you want to achieve something you stay focused. Yes the journey with the penny to the Winnebago is fun, but I have other things too. I want to be financially free from debt. NOW THAT IS A FOUR LETTER WORD!!! Debt! How in the world is that going to happen? It’s hard to dream about anything with DEBT and bills around every corner. It’s possible. I think you have seen a little bit of it with the journey so far. I don’t have a lot of money and look where things are at right now. Winnie is sitting in the driveway right now. LOL
God wants us to listen to HIM and do HIS work. Now he doesn’t promise to take away the consiquences of some stupid actions we do, but He does use them for His glory. So now I will continue to seek what He has in mind next. As far as me being an idiot I will learn from that too. When we are at the bottom sometimes we have the best view looking up. Just like a toddler looking up and raising their arms to their father. Pick me up and hold me. Now that is security. You see there is still Peace in the hardest of times. The calm in the middle of the storm. I like to think of it as the Eye of a Hurricane. You see right in the center it can be calm while everything around you is spinning out of control. It’s that Calm I feel leaning on Jesus. That is the best way I can describe it.
Tomorrow will be a new day. What will it hold? Where will it lead? Who will I meet? What phone call will come in? Now that is exciting! The not knowing. Even this bad day was something I learned. You see obtacles are only things you see in the way to the finish line. You jump over, walk around, maybe break through either way you are moving towards the goal. I can promise you what happens next will not be boring.
If you are still awake thank you for letting me share with you.
Take care and God Bless,
Todd
Todd, I’ve been keeping tabs on your blog, and I’m glad that you share your troubles along with your triumphs. This is the real world and we are humans - destined to mess up from time to time. Below is an excerpt from a devotion I read recently. It really hit home.
“In Matthew chapter 14, there’s a story of when Jesus sent His disciples ahead of Him in a boat. The first miracle in the story is that Jesus walked on water to catch up with His friends. We also learn a lesson from this story when we think about why Jesus would have sent His disciples into a storm. Jesus knew the wind and waves were fierce, yet He allowed His friends to get in the middle of it. Even as the storm raged on, Jesus came to the boat, tested their faith, and then calmed the storm. Verse 33 says, “Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, ‘Truly you are the Son of God.’”
Perhaps God uses free-falls and storms to drive us straight into His arms. Sometimes it’s the quickest way to move our faith from a head knowledge to a heart knowledge. Then, like the disciples, we too can glorify God for what He has done and worship Him.”
Thank you for sharing your dreams and your journey.
Annie